Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Well talking about positive thinking drawing things to you you want!

Was talking the other day, and I know I have mentioned the book I lost[loaned to a friend], Forever by Mildred Cram 1889-1985, well today, in the shop, I was demonstrating a problem we have with the way the books are placed at the moment there... I reached out without looking, held a book as if to pull out... looked back to see above books falling had I pulled out this one beneath.... and I had my hand on the above book! I couldn't believe it! I almost shouted, well I did do a sharp intake of breath! Unbelievable! My missing book, well not actually mine, but the same, and now I have it again, and this one wont be leaving my sight!

In case you wondered, well probably not, but the book is out of print... so getting another copy wasn't easy!

I actually wore a skirt today... Summer is here, although first friend I saw told me rain was expected today! And it did, but not much, and not for long... and afterwards, warm beautiful sun, was up on the terrace until half hour ago, watching the sun setting over the mountain... And it looks like sun for the rest of the week, maybe skirt again tomorrow!!

Had a meeting yesterday at work, it was day leaders, but I was asked to stand in for mine, then I ended up taking the minutes too! Pat said "can you take the minutes Marian?" I said, "what write?" Bit of an airhead moment I know, but funny none the less! Bit like Saturday with the locker key! Think I need to change the color of my hair!!! lol...

Funny walking Pippa in the dark again now... the birds don't seem to have noticed its dark though now... No, what I mean is, they were tweeting at the old 6:30am, but now, even at the new 7am, they're up and about making a racket!

Auntie Linda's funeral tomorrow, Wednesday 2pm BST.... Can't believe she has gone, so suddenly, seems unreal... And now I won't ever go back to where her and Mom lived....

Ok battery going, going to go now..

TTFN amigos

Saturday, March 26, 2011

I'm a ding bat! I completely got the Euromillions results information wrong this morning! In my haste to see if we won, apart from seeing what we did win... not very much, by the way, I thought more people had won the jackpot than was true! It was only later adding it up, the way I thought the winnings had gone, it just didn't make any sense at all! All irrelevant of course, as it wasn't us!

At the Boardroom this morning we were a melancholy lot, thoughts of our plans for the 133 millions, dashed, momentarily.. The sun was having trouble pushing past the clouds hanging around! A drop of rain, just the one!

So much to remember this evening, lights out at 8:30pm around the world, for Earth Hour... Then clocks go forward an hour overnight!

Not sure if I will remember to actually do any of these things... I got all the way home this morning to find I still had the locker key to a locker in Mercadona! Great, I had their key, they had my duck eggs! So a couple of hours later, I headed back into town, to retrieve them! Only plus side was I was able to pick up a little more from the store I couldn't carry earlier, and stopped for té with two neighbours who were down at Bar Cruz, second visit of the day! This time, by the way, the sun was out, it had been for an hour or more, and stayed that way till now, its setting over the Sierra de las Nieves!

I watched a whole series on DVD today, Desperate Romantics, six episodes in all! Sounds like a long haul but it wasn't, it was brilliant, great to see in its entirety, I only watched bits of the first two episodes when it was out a couple of years ago, so glad to have got to see it now... I had a break for my trip to town this afternoon, and another hours break later on for some things I wanted to do.

Apart from leaving the duck eggs in Mercadona, I feel I am missing more...

"What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world."

- The Buddha


Thursday, March 24, 2011

Above the Alcazaba in Malaga...

Thursday today, already! I don't know where this week has gone, flying into the past without pausing for the present! Only that's not true, with my new positive thinking, everyday has felt like a present!

Tuesday, work, cold, windy, little sun, we were all cold at the Boardroom before I left for work, and spent the morning shivering, we all did! Even the 11:30 coffee wasn't hot enough for any of us!

I'm not sure if this machine is on a go slow or is just too slow to keep up with me these days, not sure what I need to do to clean it up and get moving, I am clicking back to change things, or correct typos and the new stuff comes out in the completly wrong place! Arh!!!

Wednesday, yesterday, weather still not great, looked like rain, but three of us had plans at the coast, [well two of us, and our plans became plans for all three of us!] so after brief meeting at Bar Cruz, off we went! Down to Calahonda, small diversion on the way, and to El Zoco, coffees at the sports bar where I used to do my Blog last year when we were staying down at the coast, that awful machine, with that awful music, still makes my stomach churn hearing that tune.... Funny how a piece of music, a taste, a smell can be so evocative of a past memory, good or bad...

We were up and down all the stairs in El Zoco looking for a special shop... I had gone into it earlier, not realising it was the store we were looking for! Anyway, found it! Then my errand further up the road, we decided to walk there... felt a long way yesterday, and the road noise seemed so loud! I needed a code to get where I wanted to go, didn't have it, but luckily some kind person let me in! Then we went to a beach bar for some lunch, not too many people there, we sat inside, for obvious reasons [weather], the food was wonderful, beautiful glass of wine, and the three of us had a great time... Then we had to walk back for the car! Phew, I was exhausted, we were going to go to Iceland, but decided we would leave that for next week! Maybe minus the glass of red wine?

And to today! Hot, hot, everyone over dressed! Went with a friend to La Trocha, don't understand how that place stays open, hardly anyone in there! Supermarket empty, stalls only just opening, shops empty, or closed! Had coffee and apple strudel! The best apple strudel in the world!

Just checked out the weather for tomorrow, looking good folks, looking good!

[looks for a poem]Hate it when I am in poetic mood and cannot find the words I seek in... Oh coincidence, as I write this very bit, my youngest son's Twitter popped up on here... His words? he is talking about words! Just as I am right now! But this isn't helping me much is it! And I am giving up on the site I was looking at! and I will now have to leave you wanting!


Monday, March 21, 2011

Duffy -- Syrup & Honey

Its a chilly day today! Was under-dressed this morning in town! Cold hands, and the rest! Luckily I had boots on, or my toes would have been blue too! I am still cold, in the house, think I shall have to go to bed early this evening, make camp in the bedroom!

Yesterday, La Trocha market, busy, lots of people selling, maybe some buying! Day was lovely, beautiful sunny, warm, a gift of a day.... It began with me at last seeing the 'super moon', although I hear it actually happens every 4 to 6 years by someone on Twitter, although the popular theory is it won't happen again until 2060! Well good job I got to see it this time round, I say....

Saturday evening, I was running up and down stairs to wait for it to make it to the town hall, I got to see it before it disappeared again, between neighbours house and the above! Ten o'clock finally... there it was! And I didn't have to climb up, yet again, on a wobbly plastic chair, looking like a loony bird!

But in the morning, better, for me than the night before, on the day of the equinox, there hovering above Las Deslcias... and El Dorado...

[to break into my thoughts, just now, listening to James Blunt, as I do, gone from a track I love, to another I love, but this second one is so sad, so thought provoking, I am having to play it again! Just to upset myself again!]

and El Dorado... [from previous paragraph], the Super Moon, I saw it first from the car park, then as Pip and I came round to the park, it was nearer the mountains and sinking so fast I stood and watched it, as it dipped down, filling the space where two mountains meet, the white glow, falling down between them, until it looked like a huge star, then, gone! As if it were never there...

Glad I got to see it...

I watched a movie I hadn't seen for over 25 years this afternoon, Cabaret... Fantastic, Liza Minnelli, all that time, and I still remember it almost word for word, I must have watched it many times when I had the video!

Been away again! Did you miss me! Had to fix something! Franco had got locked out of his email account! Fixed it!

An hour or so before I watched the movie, one of the women from work popped in, on her way into town for lunch, had a cup of coffee and a quick tour of the house, very quick of course, it being dolls house size!! And she bought me a beautiful bunch of flowers from her garden, the last of her freesias! Lovely... thank you...

Ok, too cold to type, going to make some dinner, oh.... the 105 million Euros in the Euromillion on Friday...? Our syndicate, won, a four figure amount, just those four figures had the decimal point after just two, and either way you look at it, that wasn't a lot!

TTFN mis amigos...

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Tony Bennett and Billy Joel "New York State of Mind"

A year ago, it was Empire State of Mind for Mom... today, St Paddys Day.... Today, one of our favorites Tony Bennett... And New York State of Mind....

Today, replacing sad memories with glad ones... then my cousin called me to tell me Auntie Linda has passed away, in the early hours of this morning...


Wednesday, March 16, 2011

The photo above is the castle in the town, where my Italian Grand parents came from Quaglietta..

Well I am on a go slow here am I not! Been a week again nearly and saying so makes me feel like Groundhog day! I am repeating myself on each Blog!

Saturdays weather was wonderful, was hot sitting outside Bar Cruz, beautiful day... Sunday was a mix of sun and showers and now my Blog is turning into a weather report, and who wants to know what the weather has been? No one, just means I have run out of words...

Friday our syndicate won a little on the Euromillions, a very little, not even enough for another weeks lottery! And if we win the big one, Friday is 105 million Euros! I won't be mentioning it on here... I guess the things I say I have been doing might give my game away???

Sunday was quiet, just walked Pippa and did nothing much else actually! Monday down town, sat inside bad weather is all I shall say! Got soaked going to Mercadona after bar, it did stop by the time I got home, a friend was round for a cuppa, and about 2:30, a lightening flash and clap of thunder came together the power went off and the sky was black, my friend made a run for it to get back to hers.... she got wet! The rain came down in sheets, so heavily as I sat watching it from upstairs on the floor... with Pippa sat with me, the rain came down hit our street and was being forced up hill in waves by the pressure of more following it down! A stream of water was coming off our terrace like a hose pipe was on!

Then it was gone, and past....

And Tuesday beautiful, really is spring showers... Work was great, we had a very profitable morning, probably took more money in our store than any other in town! Then after work the five us were at one of their homes having a nice lunch, just out of town... lovely sat outside, but under a canopy thingy covered with flowers... they have a lovely garden with a small pagoda[?] with wonderful chimes, not those shrill ones, like we have! But a beautiful muted sound, deep and, well, just lovely!

She has beautiful cream fresias growing in the garden, of which she gave me a stem, they're in a small vase and smelling sweetly... amongst loads of other flowers and plants etc...

It has quite a lot of land and they're moved into town soon... bet they will miss their garden though, made me yearn for one again, grass, trees, flowers.... If we started digging our terrace the only things we would find are our bedrooms and bathroom!

Anyway, was a lovely couple of hours and was good to have a chance to talk and sit and relax without customers interfering!!!

Today, was lovely sat outside the bar, we were all over-dressed, which means tomorrow, we will all be under-dressed!!!

The last episode of Being Human has come and gone! Its a cult series, aparently, and I am missing it already, the third series, its about a warewolf, a vampire and a ghost, all sharing a house, well of course, why not!

Heroes, which I also love, has been gone for far too long, seems like well over a year... not sure when it finished... I just remember shouting at the tv when it did, as I wasn't expecting it!!

My Auntie Linda isn't well, she is in hospital, Watford General, oh what a familiar place to me that is.... She fell and broke her hip, she is 92, and not taking it well now, please say a prayer for her....

And on that note, Pippa is telling me its time for me to start my dinner! She is, honestly, she wines and nudges me to get up and go to the kitchen, she is a good time keeper! Just not a great conversationist!

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud And the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows Higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide) And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart).

E E Cummings


Thursday, March 10, 2011

Been nearly a week since my last post... Not even sure why... ! Lets retrace my steps shall we!

Saturday, to town, of course, sat inside with friend, was a bit blowy out side! I had already picked up our syndicate winnings... not a lot, but we won, and that's the important thing... and once outside back into the lottery shop and friend also won! Way to go!!

Just realised I have a bite... the sort of weather for it, hope its not a mosquito bite! I have 'removed' two from the house in past two days! One was massive, he was hanging about in the bathroom waiting for me, but I saw him first!

Now I just need to not scratch the bite... I already have a flare up from eating something with MSG in it, although my face is telling me, I have eaten several things, that's the trouble, when I'm not having a flare up I can eat some things, that just have 'thickeners' or 'flavourings' or.. one of many 'other' words for MSG, I have definitely not eaten anything that actually says MSG, so I must have overdosed on one of the others... So of course that is my fault, and I am suffering, so itchy and stingy, eyes feel just the same!

Sunday, was a quiet day... just a bit of pottering about the place, after walking Pippa, of course!

I think Monday was 'normal', shall we say! and Tuesday was work as normal too! I gave back a book I had borrowed from a friend the Tuesday before, read it in a week, and now want my own copy...

I was already feeling lots more positive, after the bad Monday from a couple of weeks ago, but reading this book, has just so inspired me even more! A friend came round the other day, and I think she thought I was having a nervous breakdown! I was almost hysterical with happiness! Hopefully that's not the case.... But I have definitely turned myself about, regarding how I am feeling, about the way we're struggling just now, the huge death duty tax that has to be paid.... etc etc... Bills will get paid, in a year the tax will be paid, and my health is getting better, although I should be saying my health IS better! Just have to get rid of the rash again now!! ;-)

I am thinking happier thoughts now of Mom, knowing she is happy where she is now, as everyone has said, time and again, it took those 'again's' for me to hear you, thank you, you know who you are!

We had lots of rain yesterday, a friend and I went down to Fuengirola yesterday, did a few things we needed doing, and back home, was about 2:30pm, I was shattered! And soaked through!

I bought my usual Shredded Wheat, 5.11€... how much is it in England now! That sounds extortionate to me! Has wheat gone up that much! And 3 Cadbury's flakes for a euro.... haven't eaten any of them yet!

I have been cooking some strange things... dinner has been kind of normal, but so fed up with one plain yoghurt after another, there were the apple dumplings last week, this week, banana cake[!] apple crumble, apple thing with meringue... [I want to spell that Merangue, but spell check says I am wrong!!!]

Today I got to town, we were even sitting outside the bar, but then the rain started, so we went our separate ways... Me to Mercadona, to carry a too heavy bag back home, once again, that's the trouble with those little pull along baskets, pulling, and carrying are two different things! Of course they are!!

I also stopped off to buy some paint[???], we have had an area on a wall in our bedroom which is still badly stained from the terrible damp we had this time last year, when there had been rain from December to March! I must have painted over that area half a dozen times, and the paint just wouldn't stay there, sounds strange, it wasn't running down the wall, or evaporating! Just seemed to sink in and then disappear! As if by magic! So, after hearing another idea, that's what I am trying, coming at it from a completely different angle... I bought some spray paint, not because it was spray, but for the color... I have gone off on my own path here, should have been more of a silver color, aluminium really, but not Hammerite.... just that color, well I couldn't find any, and grey just didn't seem right!

So I have sprayed the area bronze.... looks more like gold at the moment! And so, for now, and for today and until tomorrow there is a load of bronze spray paint on our way, like some crazy has gone and put graffiti on the wall, no signature though!

Tomorrow I will paint the area white, to match the rest of the wall, of course, might take two coats, as the bronze is rather.... well bronzy!

If you know what I have done and why... that's cool, if you know why it will work.... Please, please tell me!

[of course, if it hasn't worked, you will hear about it for sure!]

I think that's me for today! Its so cold in here I can see my breath!


Friday, March 04, 2011

Well amigos, so the world has turned, a year has passed... I cannot believe it is so, I am writing this Thursday, yesterday. It is really today I feel it is a year ago since Mom passed away, it was Thursday March 4th... I feel I am reliving every hour from last year and its only mid afternoon so far... I bought Mom in some beautiful daffodils, in the shop it said two for one pound! I picked up two bunches, got to Moms by about 10am and realised there were two bunches in each packet! Can't remember now if I only paid for one or both, I remember the girl at the cash desk was confused as well! I bought some beautiful blackberries, well hoped they would be tasty, they were from Ecuador, and didn't taste like any blackberries I had ever tasted before, and not in a good way!

Anyway, I shan't repeat everything that I know I have already written from a year ago, or I shall go into melt down...

... and maybe I should leave this here, don't know what to do, feeling empty, and a lost little girl... my hand held out to be held and led...

Let me talk about today instead, as this is where I am now... let me drag myself here! This morning, felt cooler, and after last night which was also colder, was good to be out in the sun, then the cloud came over the Sierra de Mijas, and settled there while I was still out, I carried a few heavy things back from Mercadona, so that heated me up coming back up the hill! At the boardroom this morning, we had a couple of guests... A couple who live here from Liverpool, they know the road well where my Granddad was born in Rice Lane... Oh and I have more news too! What am I thinking! I am in such a sad place I nearly forgot to tell you fantastic news! To add to our growing family of newly found cousins in England, and here in Spain [wish they were nearer!], I have found more cousins in Canada, yep, me, I did it!! Felt like I was stalking the person first, on Twitter, an in-law of a cousin, then after a few weeks I gathered myself together and thought, might as well write to her, if she isn't in our family, then I am wasting time wondering if she is!!! So I sent an email, and she forwarded it to a cousin, and yes yes yes!!!! What an amazing ride since November last year, when I was found, thank you Emma and Ancestry.com

Moms last request to find the family.... I have, and am, fulfilling, something I really never believed I could ever do... I hope she knows, I believe she does, in fact, I think she has helped to make it happen! I mean, how else after all these years of trying????

Ok this is getting a bit mixed up and confusing, bit like how I feel just now...And I am trying to more positive, I really am, and is positively not helping...

So this is it for now, and I will copy and paste this tomorrow, no words tomorrow, only thoughts and prayers...

It is still Thursday and I have opened this up again to write some more... a friend who lives nearby called me quarter hour ago, and I went down to the bottom on my road, which meets the bottom of her road, she gave me a plateful of freshly made lasagne... I brought it home, plated it up, and enjoyed every wonderful mouthful of it! Thank you amiga... meals on wheels? Nope meals on foot I think... Funny we were both wearing our slippers, well fluffy boots, its colder today remember!I looked a bit dishevel'd, my hair a mess, and I think a hint of mascara a little further down my face than it should have been!

Pippa, of course, enjoyed some, but only a little!

I have been playing the Phantom of the Opera, for me, on behalf of Mom... Every single time I do play it, which actually hasn't been for quite a while, maybe six months, I can visualise Mom and I there, in Her Majesty's Theatre in London, our front row view from the Royal circle! Well where else would be have sat! Mom loved it, I loved it! And when I go and see the follow up, 'Love never dies'... I hope Mom is with me in spirit...

Anyway... after eating my lovely and so unexpected dinner, I turned back to here, to Tweet and fb, and to add to here of course, as I Tweeted though, the Tweet below was from 'Love Never Dies', which was a coincidence of course, as was the one that came up immediately after my Twitter, it was from Eurostar[Paris trip with Mom]... So yes, of course I follow them, so that's why their Tweets came up, but at that moment? While I am playing the CD? Oh ye of little faith!

Okay... I'm done! For now amigos... unless something else strange happens before I get to post this Blog in the morning of course???

Of course something did... A friend sent me this wonderful piece below... I have deleted all the quotes I had prepared earlier. They are nothing in comparison to this... I cried when I read it, and will again I know...

I will be surprised if you don't shed a tear....

If tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye,
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.

When GOD looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,
He said "This is eternity,
And all I've promised you."
Today for life on earth is past,
But here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
And since each day's the same way
There is no longing for the past.

But you have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things,
You knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven,
And now at last you are free.
So won't you take my hand.
And share my life with me?

So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we are far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.

And now it is tomorrow, March 4th, and I feel its Groundhog day, I feel today, as I felt yesterday, only its pouring outside, thunder and lightening, now that's Mom forsure! I am going to go out and get soaked through to the skin, have to get out of the house, Pippa and I got out after the 6am storm passed, got back in just before the next wave arrived!

Just after 8 this morning a friend from England called to talk to me, which was lovely... thanks mate...

ok.. going now.... before I ....